A MarySue Story
by CandyCoatedCute
Summary: A joke Mary Sue story. The Greatest Mary Sue has invaded Kohona! SasuSaku.
1. Sueniverse

Welcome to the world of Sues! This is 100 crack. The main sues name is Aba which is Afrikaan for born on Thursday. I got a 119 on a Mary-Sue test on Pony Press! SasuSaku.

Disclaimer: I only own the plot.

Warnings:  
Sues.  
Death.  
Suggestive situations.

Possible side affects:  
Death.  
Coma.  
Need to gore eyes out.  
Pregnancy.  
Wrinkles.  
Insanity.  
Terms:

Mary-Sueniverse: A place where Mary-Sues and Gary-Stues (Male Mary-Sue) rule.

Sueciety: The leading Sues and Stues.

In the Mary-Stuniverse:

"Lady Aba, you know why you are here I presume?" The leading sue said in a melodic voice.

"You have noticed the lack of our kind in the Ninja world and you want me to go there?"

"Yes you are one of the best Sues here. We wish you luck with your journy."

"Thank you."

"Now you must go."

And with that she left to pack.

She was perfect she had waist lengh light purple wavy hair tied into a ponytail. She had a perfect figure. she was born on a Thursday. She had a beutiful face with angelic gold eyes and soft pale skin. She wore a pink t-shirt with lace trim and slightly baggy pants with many pockets that still showed off her sexy figure.

After a very short time of packing her and her adorable wolf pup Destiny. It is a pale pink coulor with a light blue star on ist head. It had looked like that since the day she found it in the woods alone.

She took a deep breath and teleported to Kohona.

To be continued...

Well this is the start the rest of the story will be in Sasuke's POV. If you flame her it's a good thing! Positive comments about her will be laughed at. 


	2. A New Ninja

Welcome to chapter 2 of A Mary-Sue Story! That's right the Sue you love to hate is back! For the record I wrote this while listening to Britney Spears Greatest Hits: My Prerogative. Which is very inspiring for my story. And I hate her. At least if I destroy the CD the case is recyclable. This story takes place right after the sound ninja thing if Naruto had managed to bring Sasuke back. But for trying to leave the Village he misses out on missions higher than D for 3 years.

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Disclaimer: I don't own!

This chapter was brought to you by: Tyler Foot and other embarrassing names. And Kami-Inu for being my first reviewer. This story needs to be in horror. And it will be.

It was a bright and early morning I was to receive a mission from Lady Hokage(I think calling any female 'Lord' is a bad idea).

"Ah Sasuke I wanted you to escort our newest shinobi Aba." She said showing a very forced smile on the word shinobi.

"Am I late or something?"

"No but she's that kind of perfect prick who gets on my nerves."

"Oh o.k."

"Hey you bring her in!" she snapped at a random ANBU.

He nodded and ducked out.

"Hi! I'm Aba it's nice to meet you!"

"Hn."

"So your Sasuke. I heard about your family I'm so sorry."

"Don't talk about it."

"O.k!"

"Lets get this over with."

1 hour later.

"You can go home now."

"O.k! By!"

'What an annoying slut!'

"Hey Sasuke I found a scroll on a species called Mary-Sues that my dad left me! I think you just met one!" Naruto yelled.

"Really?"

"Yeah. We should read it to find out if she is one. Please?"

"Fine."

And so the reading started.

To be continued...

_**Sorry it's short! The next chapter goes into the scroll. I hope you can give me tips. Please review.**_


	3. The Hand Written Scroll

**_Hello people welcome too the chapter where team 7 reads a scroll about Mary-Sues! And we read Aba's guide book!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own._**

**_This chapter is dedicated to toys that I can't imagine would be fun. Such as Baby alive. Why are toys that can piss themselves more fun? I think the Tanner and puppies set for Barbie would be less creepy if one of the advertised features was not that if you squeezed a puppy it would pee on the ground._**

Kakashi and Sakura had heard the news that Sasuke had to escort a strange girl around the Village and wanted to find out more.

"She's a slut! She acts all perfect." Naruto and Sasuke explained to them.

"That's a little cruel don't you think?" Kakashi interjected.

"Not really. About thirty seconds after I met her she started talking about what happened to my family and how she was so sorry."

"That is pathetic." Sakura admitted.

"Well lets start reading! Believe it! Any way it's hand written!"

"I never thought I saw the day Naruto was exited about reading." Sakura mumbled.

Step 0ne: Reconizing a Mary-Sue. Traits to look out for.

A) Seems to regret or fell bad about things that happened to themselves or someone else, even if it was not there fault.

B) Is smarter than someone who has worked on it for years without much effort.

C) Is overly modest about it.

D) Always succeeds.

E) Has a perfect figure.

F) Is talented in everything.

G) Has no scars or other ugly marks although there may be some that make them look better.

H) Fails to have weaknesses.

I) Cannot become drunk no matter how much alcohol is involved.

J) May use drugs but side effects are 'cute' or non existent.

K) Considers herself dignified even if all of the previously mentioned symptom are present.

Step two: How to deal with one.

A) Remember she is a different race and an evil being. This will help.

B) Date some one else. if necessary marry said non-Sue girl. A Sue will not under any circumstances lay her hands on a married man.

C) Kill her. Enough said.

D) Lie.

E) Torment her.

F) If you come across an immortal Sue, run there is no hope of defeating her.

This is all I can give you. Be careful Naruto,

signed Minato Namikaze.

"What the hell?!" Kakashi said quickly.

"What?"

"This scroll is from my old Sensai, The Fourth Hokage."

"The Fourth Hokage was my dad?!"

"It looks like it."

"Cool!"

"Maybe we should get back to this." Sakura suggested quickly.

"Sure." The others all agreed.

So it was then they decided that she was a Sue.

To be continued...

**_

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_****_Tada! How is it! I'm sorry if anyone is OOC. Please review! I have a question though. In the thing that says that 1 person has visited this story in Norway do the round all available country's to 1 or something? I would like to say that I do live in Canada._**


	4. The Guide Book

**_Welcome to chapter four! It is now time to read a Aba's Guidbook! Eat some bread throwing up on an empty stomach is really unhealthy. I'm sorry if the Sues sound noble! (my random input) That she can't see. I know how this story ends and yet even I was praying to Jashin she is not an immortal Sue. I'm sorry I forgot the slutty wolf thing! It was like at her new house or something. I'm grounded so I snuck on to type this! There is a referance to annother story try to find it._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the Sueniverse. I just realized I own a universe!_**

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This chapter is dedicated to any one who read or revieved my stories!

With the Sue...

'Why will none of the boys swoon over me!?' She thought.

So the reading began...

The Book of Mary-Sues, By Dolores Jane Umbridge

As a Sue it is your duty to bring men to your home univers so that the population of Sues can become stronger and more powerful (puke). You need to bring handsom powerful men, not ugly or untalented people. In this book we will explain how to act and the kind of guy you should find. But first we shall explain our herritage as Sues.

Part one: Our heritage as Sues.

Over three thousand years, around the time of the beiginning of human civilization ago there was a beutiful woman born into a beutiful family she was perfect and had everything-everything but friends that is everyone hated her because she was so perfect so after a man tried to kill her she left the city to find a new home in a far away place. She was the first Sue in recorded history. She formed a new country and with the help of a strong handsom man. After the first fifty years her children, Sugar and Spice the two sisters formed a new univers in there mothers name. There mothers name was Mary-Sue. and that is the true history of Mary-Sues. So the next time some one calles you a Sue think of it as a compliment to yourself that they have recognized you as a part of our amazing world. Please carry the title with fitting pride and dignity( Sues have dignity?!).

Part two: How to be a proper Sue(if they exist).

A) Walk the walk.

As a Sue you should never sulk but instead carry yourself gracefully. Walk as if you are weightless with perfect posture. People should watch you as you walk with looks of amazment from the boys and looks of jealousy from the girls. Do not swing you arms loosely. Use one to carry an taseful expencive looking purse with it's long strap over your shoulder. The other arm should be firmly at your side waiting for use to do thing like open a door for an old lady.

B) Dress code of Sues.

Wear a nice bright coulor but not too bright. Make sure your clothes are not overly revealing or covering that would be bad. Insure they allow easy movements.

C) Your hair.

You may have a perfectly beautiful hair coulor but if it is dirty, smelly, messy or in a distasteful style you will look terrible. We suggest a simple style such as a high ponytail with a flower or other decoration.

E) Make up.

Do not wear obseanly large ammounts of make up. Only wear small amounts of make up. Such as sheer lip gloss shimmery eyeshadow and mascara.

F) Personality matters.

As a Sue you must be a caring perfect individual. Love every one in a different way. Mourn the dead help survivors or tragitys.

G) Responsability.

I cannot stress the importance of this aspect without being overly cruel. you must never act drunk, sleep with a random guy, marry some one you don't know, steal some ones boyfriend and never ever touch a married man.

Part three: The ideal man.

Your ideal man should be almost a compleate opposite of yourself. He should be rich, talented, quiet, handsom, loyal and possibly a little scarred mentaly but nothing your charm cannot fix.

To be continued...

_**Wow that felt like a really long chapter. See you next time on A Mary Sue Story! **_

**_Mary-Sueniverse and all other related terms belong to A Teenagers Company, Co_**


	5. Death to Sue

**_Hello it's chapter 5 of A Mary-Sue Story. Should I refer Tsunade as Lady Hokage?_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own. I just use disclaimers to add more words and make me feel better about this._**

**_This chapter is dedicated to anyone who guessed that Umbridge was the reference in the story. I could hear her tapping her wand on a black board speaking in that creepy (Mean) sugared British accent. And my sisters impression of Sasuke._**

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With team 7.

Sasuke's POV.

"She needs to die!" Naruto exclaimed.

"I think so to." Sakura said quickly.

"Well if Sakura agrees with Naruto it must be important." Kakashi said.

"Well then we need a plan." I said coolly.

"First we need to get the Hokage in on this so she doesn't get in the way." Sakura said.

"Yeah! To the Hokage's we go!" Naruto cheered.

And team seven went to go see Lady Tsunade.

"YOU WANT TO KILL A VILLAGE SHINOBI!" Tsunade yelled breaking the 8th desk this month.

It's half way through the month but it takes time to replace desks.

"Not another desk!" Shinzune cried desperately.

"But it's Aba everyone hates her and she's a Mary-Sue!" Naruto whined.

"A what exactly?"

"A perfect person in every way." I explained.

"And she's a whore." Naruto interjected.

"She says mean things about you like how your a slut." Sakura said honestly.

"What?! Get rid of her now!" Tsunade said quickly.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"Something about bounty hunting." She said.

"Then lets get a team together and go get her." Sakura said.

"You need more training if she is a perfect as the legend said. She is after Uchiha Itachi."

"Give us all the files on him then." Kakashi said quickly.

"Here they are."she said handing them a large stack of papers in a folder.

"Let's go read them." Sakura said.

"Hey here's one about a mission from the elders on that night."

"What?" I said quickly.

"It says... Oh my god this is a mission to kill your family! It says if he told you they would have had you executed."

"What?!"

"It's true."

Just then the fugly elders came in.

"Lady Tsunade why did you let them read those files?!"

"Why not?"

"They are property of the elders."

"And I as the Hokage gave them the files."

the elders stood there in shock and the left.

"WE HAVE TO STOP HER!" Naruto yelled.

And so the journey to stop the Mary-Sue began...

To be continued...

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**_Sorry I didn't update yesterday my sister was hogging the computer._**


	6. The Final Battle

_**Hello welcome to the last chapter of A Mary-Sue Story! If you want there may be a sequel but I need reviews from 5 different people. If I do should it be one were a Sue takes someone to their world or one were the Naruto charecters read this? And I again forgot the wolf thing. I am such a retard. This is going to have team seven bonding!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own a few volumes of manga two DVD's and all the DS vidio games exept one. But if I owned Naruto I wouldn't have this stuff.**_

_**This Chapter is dedicated to Kami-Inu, ANBU Inu and Reality-Bites. I will try to make this Chapter the best. I have ADHD so I find it hard to concentrate.**_

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Sasuke's POV.

It was a little later in the Rain Village they were looking for Aba but having no luck.

Sakurahad trained with Tsunade, Sasuke trained with Kakashi and Narutotrained with Jiriaya. They were now ready.

"Where the hell is she?!" Naruto y elled profoundly.

"I hope were not to late." Sakura mumbled.

"If we are her death will be one thousand times more painful." I said slowly.

"Believe it!"

"To bad Kakashi was too busy reading porn to come." Sakura said.

"It was expected."

"He is a pervert."

"Yeah."

"Let's hope she ended up a sacrifice to that one god, Jashin or something."

"That would be a relief."

"Don't you want to kill her?"

"Yes but it would be better for me to never see her alive again."

"Oh. O.k."

And they set of on the Sue Hunt of the century.

"Hey I was looking on my shelf again and I found a scroll that explained that Sue's were trying to become more powerfull so they came here to get men for the job. And they had to send my dad to kill them." Naruto said.

"You should have told us that in the village!"

"Sorry I didn't want anyone to overhear us."

"That makes sense Sakura. We don't know if anyone would tell her."

"Oh right sorry."

"COME ON LETS SING A SONG!" Naruto yelled.

"Why?" Sakura asked.

"It's good Karma."

"O.k." Sakura said.

"Whatever."

"Let's start!"

(The song Professor Umbridge from the 5th Harry Potter CD plays in the background.) (I know Sasuke would never sing but, it's to get rid of a Sue. desperate times call for desperate measures. As you can tell I'm not a song writer.)

-Chorus-

"Sue's are pretty Sue's are smart,

Sue's just want to steal your heart."

-End Chorus-

"They may seem cuddly and cute,

But if your not perfect you get the boot.

They sing charming songs,

But just to cover up their wrongs.

They love even the smallest flies,

But will tell you deadly lies.

They will clean up gristly grime,

But could commit any crime.

They are perfect seeming girls,

But could kill for a pretty set of pearls.

They have bright pretty Eyes,

But will hardly ever utter cries.

They have voices as charming as a bell,

But they are monsters strait from hell.

Sue's are pretty Sue's are smart.

Sue's just want to steal your heart.

So when in doubt,

Remember this anthem will help you out."

"Wow Naruto that was pretty good."

"Thanks Sakura!"

"Yeah not bad."

"I think it really shows how evil they are!"

And as if they had somehow allowed it to be so they came across Aba in a small hotel room about to stab Itachi's unconsie form in a matter of moments.

"ABA STOP!" Naruto yelled.

"No! I have to do this so Sasuke will love me!" She cried passionately.

"I wouldn't love you if you were the only chance to revive my clan!"

"I LOVE YOU! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!?" She yelled bursting into tears.

This caused Naruto to lose it and go all demonic on that bitch.

"YOU ONLY LOVE YOURSELF!" Naruto yelled.

And then he jumped into the air, tackled her to the ground and stabbed her repeatedly in the heart.

"You will pay for this.." Where the Sue's last words before she died.

And after that a gold liquid escaped her eyes and mixed with her green blood(She's not human.) and began to form a toxic cloud. They only just got out in time.

"Sakura we need the antidote you brought."

"Here." She said giving them each a bottle of the liquid. She took hers and poured some down Itachi's throat.

"Lets go home." She said.

"O.k." and with that they were about to go back to the Leaf Village when they heard a strange sound coming from behind a bush.

"What is that?" Naruto asked.

"It's her pet wolf." I said.

Just then the small animal rubbed it's head against Sakura's leg.

"I guess we shouldn't leave it here." Sakura said picking it up.

"Lets give it a new name! Because anything she named it probably sucks." Naruto said.

"O.k how about Silence?"

"Sure."

"O.k"

"Lets go now."

And they left with two of Naruto's shadow clones carring Itachi.

When they reached Kohona they rushed to the hospital.

They were slightly panicked because in the whole trip Itachi had not stirred once.

Once they got to the hospital Itachi was taken to the emergency room and Team Seven went home.

In the Mary-Sueniverse.

Terror and tears were aroused as they decided to never send another there.

Two weeks later they received notice that Itachi was O.k and Sasuke went to go see him.

"Hi." I mumbled.

"Sasuke I'm sorry I lied to you."

"It's o.k."

"I'm sorry about that girl."

"Don't be."

"Well see you later."

"By."

Later Sasuke asked Sakura out. She said yes.

Naruto asked Hinata out. She said yes and fainted.

All is now well in Kohona.

The End.

**_Wow this chapter took me forever. Please review._**


End file.
